Friday, March 21, 2014

Walking Fred Friday - Pixel's Top 5 Uses of Strawberry Jam

With all I've learned about the Walking Freds (my reference to the zombies in "The Walking Dead" TV show) and their intense propensity to like Strawberry Jam, I have taught Mommy to always buy extra when she goes to the store. Not only will it help you blend in, in case of a Walking Fred Cat-astrophy, it also can keep you alive in case your blood sugar gets low while trying to thwart their attacks.

Here are  five good uses for Strawberry Jam when it comes to being a survivalist and dealing with Walking Freds:
1. As a survivalist who must live off the land if a Walking Fred attack happens, I've mastered the art of eating semi-edible bare roots and berries I find in the wilderness. Use strawberry jam to dip the bare root items in that I must consume to survive. The roots tend to be bitter, so the jam makes them more tolerable for eating.
2. Put gobs of it on your face and body if a Walking Fred is nearby...they might just think you're "one of them" and leave you alone.
3. Strawberry jam is a great bartering item when you come across other survivalists. They're probably tired of eating bare roots too, so you might be able to trade it for something cool that they have.
4. I hear that bears like honey. Honey is sticky and sweet...strawberry jam is sticky and sweet. If you run into an angry bear, offer him your strawberry jam. He'll leave happy!
5. If you have a big enough jar of strawberry jam in the wilderness and a Walking Fred comes at you, and you didn't have time to spread it on your body, chuck the entire jar at him, aiming for his eyes. The impact itself might render him blind and you can then make your escape!
So, go out, buy your own Strawberry Jam....it could save your life!

I'd LOVE to hear how you might use Strawberry Jam to survive either a 'Walking Fred' attack or just to survive in the wilderness alone. Please leave me a comment below with your survivalist tip and I'll see if I can use it in my next Walking Fred series post!

2 comments:

  1. So sad Pixel that you didn't have your strawberry jam at the vet. I read it on FB.

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