Pixel's Professional Survivalist Series: Function Meets Fashion - Being Prepared is Always in Style

Pixel Blue Eyes here, taking another break from my hard core survivalist training to bring you new information that will help you become as good a survivalist as I am. I'm currently reporting from my hidden survivalist bunker. I can't tell you exactly where it is, as that is part of my survival, but I CAN tell you that I am still on the East Coast...oh no, I've said too much already. Anyways...

I take my training and what being a "survivalist" means very seriously. As a professional survivalist, I am constantly mastering new ways to better survive in case a tragic cat-astrophy, Army-gettin' or a dreaded Walking Fred attack occurs. Even if something as simple as a Tiger-Werewolf-Monkey escapes from wherever Tiger-Werewolf-Monkeys come from and invades my yard or home, I must be in tip top form to thwart those attacks.

I've mastered my evasive maneuvers, become quite skilled at being a ninja, am adept at "blending in" with the Walking Freds (always keep Strawberry Jam handy), and even figured out how to trade peacefully with other survivalists. I can use tools, I have LOTS of camouflage items, I know how to seek out edible (and not so edible) plants, and I know how to store (as well as wear) pumpkin and strawberry jam like no one else.

But through all of this, there is one very important aspect of being a survivalist that must not be missed. That is the concept of looking good while you survive! Yes, it's often put by the wayside, but I am here to tell you today that function and fashion go hand in hand. Having to survive a "Walking Fred" attack can be detrimental to your self esteem as you deal with everything involved in your survival. But, if you look good while you evade detection, why that just makes you feel a bit better about things.

For example, my camo hat is great for blending into the surrounding trees, shrubs and ground, but it also looks very nice on my head. And my camo shirt is highly functional at hiding me in plain sight when there's snow on the ground, however the nice pink collar really brings out my natural coloring. I feel pretty while I blend in!

So, as you prepare for your own survivalist training, remember these few Pixel Survivalist Training ideas for today:
1. Function and Fashion really can go hand in hand. Buy things that are both helpful and look good.
2. Good self-esteem might help you think more clearly when deciding how to make your escape.
3. Being prepared is ALWAYS in style!
I am taking part in the Wordless Wednesday blog hop hosted by my friends at BlogPaws! Check out some of the other pet bloggers below for some more fun blog posts.

Walking Fred Friday - Pixel's Top 5 Uses of Strawberry Jam

With all I've learned about the Walking Freds (my reference to the zombies in "The Walking Dead" TV show) and their intense propensity to like Strawberry Jam, I have taught Mommy to always buy extra when she goes to the store. Not only will it help you blend in, in case of a Walking Fred Cat-astrophy, it also can keep you alive in case your blood sugar gets low while trying to thwart their attacks.

Here are  five good uses for Strawberry Jam when it comes to being a survivalist and dealing with Walking Freds:
1. As a survivalist who must live off the land if a Walking Fred attack happens, I've mastered the art of eating semi-edible bare roots and berries I find in the wilderness. Use strawberry jam to dip the bare root items in that I must consume to survive. The roots tend to be bitter, so the jam makes them more tolerable for eating.
2. Put gobs of it on your face and body if a Walking Fred is nearby...they might just think you're "one of them" and leave you alone.
3. Strawberry jam is a great bartering item when you come across other survivalists. They're probably tired of eating bare roots too, so you might be able to trade it for something cool that they have.
4. I hear that bears like honey. Honey is sticky and sweet...strawberry jam is sticky and sweet. If you run into an angry bear, offer him your strawberry jam. He'll leave happy!
5. If you have a big enough jar of strawberry jam in the wilderness and a Walking Fred comes at you, and you didn't have time to spread it on your body, chuck the entire jar at him, aiming for his eyes. The impact itself might render him blind and you can then make your escape!
So, go out, buy your own Strawberry Jam....it could save your life!

I'd LOVE to hear how you might use Strawberry Jam to survive either a 'Walking Fred' attack or just to survive in the wilderness alone. Please leave me a comment below with your survivalist tip and I'll see if I can use it in my next Walking Fred series post!

The Joy of Being Prepared - Pixel's Prep Plan for Survival Part I

I have a very important topic to talk about friends. It's something we all need to be aware of and prepared for, so please, gather round and listen...because this little girl has a LOT on her mind. This past weekend, I hung out with my wonderful Grampy for a while and we watched a very informative show called "The Walking Fred". While it is supposed to be all pretend, he told me it's really a covert show that teaches people how to survive if there's ever an Army-gettin or cat-astrophic event like a bunch of walking Freds roaming the streets trying to take your food or bite your ankles. Since I am a serious survivalist doggie, I watched very closely, took some notes, and devised my own plan to help my family in case something like that happens.

At first it was a bit daunting to watch, but Grampy promised me it was all pretend and anything red was really just strawberry jam. I got excited about that idea and said, "Well, no wonder those "Fred" people are trying to bite everything. I'd want all that strawberry jam too!"

My eyes stayed glued to that show like a deer caught in a car's headlights at night. I only looked away in snippets, just long enough to jot down some notes. As we watched people trying to find food, hide from walking Freds and struggle to protect their family, their friends and ALL the strawberry jam that was obviously in abundance, it really made me think about some things. For example, I have a continuously growing family. The dragon toys keeps on increasing in numbers (no idea how THAT is happening), I have a serious hankering for new Kong Wubba toys every time I even drive by a pet store, and I've got a whole host of other little animal toys that depend on me to keep them safe, fed and entertained. Plus there's Mommy, Grammy, Grampy, Auntie, Peanut Pumpkin Pie and Dixie Mae Doxie that need caring for. What if "Army-gettin" or a major "cat-astrophy" happened? What if there really were a bunch of walking Freds in my neighborhood and I didn't have any strawberry jam around? I pondered all of these questions, as I thought of my need to care for my family.
Later that day, I went outside with Mommy to play a little, sniff everything, and get my mind off things. We came back inside, I happened to see myself in a mirror. My eyes focused in on my chin. I WAS INSPIRED!! "Mommy, quick, take some photos....this is the answer I've been waiting for!"
She took the photos (the ones in this blog post) as quickly as she could. "What is it Pixel?" Mommy asked with great anticipation. So I told her. "Look at my face scruffles, Mommy." "Your face scruffles are just as adorable as ever!" she said. "No, Mommy....really LOOK at them, look at my face scruffles up close."

"See all the seeds in them? I'm a natural at collecting seeds!" I already "put by" a little pumpkin every time I have a meal, as you've all witnessed by my pumpkin colored scruffles on occasion, but in order to prepare for Army-gettin or those pesky walking Freds, I'd need to do a lot more than that.
So, with all the responsibility I have on my paws as part of this family, and since I have so many toys in need of care, AND because you never know when a bunch of walking Freds could invade, I've decided to start collecting wild seeds and putting other food by as well. Plus, I will be honing my skills as a wilderness survivalist.  (To read about my first attempts at "survival in the wild", read my 'Pixel tries her paw at being a survivalist' blog post.)

Mommy and I made a special "paw shake" pact to start my training right away. Stay tuned, I will be writing up a follow up blog post/manual on this very important subject once I've survived my training! If I am able to write from the great wilderness which will be my new home for a while, I will share any updates I can. Perhaps there will be a nice little carrier pigeon who won't mind carrying my notebooks back to Mommy. Wish me luck friends!!
Welcome to Thursday’s Barks and Bytes blog hop hosted by Heart Like a Dog and 2 Brown Dawgs.  Visit some fellow pet bloggers below to see what others are sharing!